THE TWELVE STEPS OF A SALTAHOLIC
My name is Sam and I'm a saltaholic!
Thou art the "Higher Power" I acclaim!
I turn from eight years' boozing in this ocean
Back to freshwater streams from which I came.
My salty life has been insane
So I will take the Twelve
Steps to improve:
Down with the life of salt
and self indulgence!
Up with the Peace no force
on earth can move!
Now is the time to spawn high in a river,
Leaving behind each broken pledge and wish,
Making a list of everyone I've injured
During my years of drinking like a fish.
Now is the time to make my
Finding a mentor who can
guide my way,
Trusting in friends who also
Salt-free for one more hour!
then one more day!
No more life in the fast lane of the Gulf Stream
Where I would race at twenty five an hour,
Finally it's time to get my life together,
Looking for courage from Thee, Higher Power!
Maybe before I make this
I can give help to some lost,
Who will put saltaholism
With my encouragement and
Though I've grown five feet long, an 80 pounder,
These final days will be my very best,
Climbing high waterfalls, past bears and rapids --
There to give life -- then lay my own to rest.
from the forthcoming book Prayers of 100 Animals A to Z, by William Cleary