THE NEWT'S NOVENA
It's not that I trust in novenas!
Good God! But what else can I do?
So often I've prayed
All in vain, I'm afraid:
Nine prayers in a row might get through.
So my first prayer's to be less "endangered"!
My second's -- to always find love!
My third fond request
Is to not be named "Pest,"
And my fourth is to fly -- like a dove!
(Excuse my presumption, Creator,
But to creep like a lizard's a bore,
While my spirit is longing to soar!)
My fifth prayer is not to have scales
That are loathsome, repulsive, and wrong!
My sixth fond petition:
For years I've been wishin'
To grow more than 4 inches long!
My 7th and 8th prayer intentions
Are to change to some two-parted name
Like Jack Daw or Ca-nute,
For this single sound "Newt"
Suggests "Gingrich" be added for fame.
My 9th prayer: Add more magic powers
Like the miracle feat I can do:
(Should I lose a limb
While I'm having a swim
I can grow one that's utterly new!)
Dear God, warm with slime and affection,
Hear nine prayers from a lizard that's cute,
All I'm asking, it seems:
Just fulfill all my dreams!
Your affectionate underling,
from the forthcoming book Prayers of 100 Animals A to Z, by William Cleary